People get into marital and love crises because their expectations regarding marriage, love, and living together are mostly unrealistic. The average man thinks that (because he is married or in a relationship) his partner should be consistently kind and helpful, and the average woman thinks that (because she is married or in a relationship) her partner should be constantly gentle and understanding.
Marital and love crises occur when one partner responds inadequately to normal frustrations and/or abnormal and unrealistic demands from the other partner. In this way, she or he puts these frustrations and demands at the forefront of their relationship (instead of putting love and sincere attachment to each other in the foreground while working to accept and overcome normal marital and love frustrations). If after that the other partner reacts inadequately to the sensitive wishes and unreasonable demands of the first partner, mutual tolerance to mutual frustrations decreases, and explosive reactions intensify, leading to interruption of communication, and deepening love, sexual, and other marital problems.
Marital and love relationships can rarely progress spontaneously with supernatural ease and therefore it would be better for partners to actively work on maintaining sincere support and affection for each other. Crises in these relationships arise when partners have continuously unrealistic expectations and demands regarding what their partners’ behaviors should be. Marital and love crises will generally last until the partners realize that inertia in the relationship simply does not pay off and that there is no other way to a successful marriage and love relationship other than persistent and continuous investment in love. Although many spouses see salvation in going to a therapist, there are many obstacles that you can solve on your own by talking and working together. On metrotimes.com you can learn more about how to solve specific problems in a relationship. Here you can read about the most common relationship issues, but the good news is that you can solve them by yourself.
1. You are annoyed by your partner’s habits
After a few months of living together, some of your partner’s habits may start to annoy you. Psychologists are sure that this is happening to many couples and that it does not mean that your love is coming to an end. Surprisingly, the habits that initially attracted you to your partner may start to annoy you after a while. What to do? Accept them. Remind yourself that your partner’s habits are what make him so unique. After all, you also fell in love with that person in part because of those habits.
2. Arguing over money
Even the happiest couples argue about how they will spend their hard-earned money, and therapists claim that the cause of such quarrels is often much deeper than the mere fact of whether you can afford something or not. Although quarrels over money in a relationship are common, they can often lead to a breakup, and to prevent this from happening to you, the advice is that the second time you find yourself in a situation where your partner wants to buy something and you don’t (or vice versa), consider whether the person who opposes the purchase should give up something because of it. If the answer is yes, plan a budget to see if it might still be feasible, and if you find out your partner is still against the purchase, it’s time for a deeper conversation.
3. The birth of a child
Starting a family is a logical step that every couple takes when they are married or in a serious relationship. There is no greater act of crowning love than giving birth to a child who is the true fruit of your love. Yet, many couples fall into a love crisis during this period because they dedicate themselves completely to the child by neglecting each other. The good news is that this problem is solvable. All you need to do is talk openly with your partner and realize that you are not selfish if you want to be alone with your partner. Ask your parents to help you with babysitting from time to time so you two can spend quality time together. Then when you as parents and a loving couple are happy, the child will grow up in a healthy environment.
4. A quarrel over sex
Relationships that lack sex are vulnerable, especially when there is a great disproportion in desire. That can be a big problem. If you are in such a relationship, you should never ignore this problem and it would be best to talk to your partner about it and try to agree on how often you will make love. Because of such quarrels, but also to avoid this topic, people who lack sex in a relationship often engage in adultery.
5. A quarrel over expressing anger
If one person grew up in a family where it is common to vent anger and the other in a family that avoids raised voices, tensions are inevitable, so couples are advised to talk about it when they are both calm and try to find a way to express it. their feelings without explosive behavior.
6. Arguing over small things
Psychologists claim that a crisis occurs in every marriage. However, even in crises, there are advantages – they allow you to refresh the relationship and take it to a new level. Since each of us is different, normally, we do not like the same things. There are probably some things you don’t want to deviate around and that’s okay. But your word doesn’t always have to be last. Sometimes there are things that you will not fail if your partner decides about them. Or negotiate them. But calm and conciliatory.
Final thoughts
For a relationship to be successful, it is necessary to exist a mutual understanding from both sides. This does not mean you have no right to expose your opinion, it just means you have to accept your partner might not agree about it, which is totally fine. The conversation is the key to everything. If you are putting the problems under the carpet, it is a matter of time when they are going to break out on the surface.
